After re-evaluating the direction I'd like to go with my future blogs, I've (obviously) stopped posting. There have been tons of things I *could* have blogged on, and I'd love to discuss, however I am working to move every aspect of my life into a line. Hopefully, that line should point toward my goals and ambitions. So once I make my decision to go ahead with my next big thing, then I will make sure that my passion and pursuits flood over into the blog-o-sphere.
So until then remember: You only have one life. Don't settle for anything less the that which is uniquely you.
- Darren
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
A Formal Hello
My name is Darren. I've been posting under the name r7, or rev7, which is short for Revolution 7. To me, it symbolizes change with the number 7 being lucky. This past year many things in my life have really begun to fall together, and it represents the change, for the better, that has taken place.
I am a 21 year old college student from sad, sad, Ohio. I've been studying psychology and sociology as a hobby for eight years. In school, I am studying Visual Communications with a focus in Print and Graphic Design. Many people would say I am a natural leader, spunky and very creative. Personally, I feel my strongest point is my ability to see the potential in people and organizations. My ideal job would probably be consulting, or even personal social training. On my list of goals is to make a million bucks. Often you will find me screaming in falsetto for no logical reason.
This is my blog. Many of my articles are written about the principles of attraction, and in that respect, are geared toward guys. However, I love comments and opinions from girls too. Another huge topic will be dating. Many relationships fail early because of so many simple problems that can easily be fixed. You will also find topics such as business, networking and fashion. On top of that expect the occasional ramble that is only partially applicable to the aforementioned categories. Enjoy your readings. Comments, questions and suggestions for topics are ALWAYS appreciated!
r7 // D
I am a 21 year old college student from sad, sad, Ohio. I've been studying psychology and sociology as a hobby for eight years. In school, I am studying Visual Communications with a focus in Print and Graphic Design. Many people would say I am a natural leader, spunky and very creative. Personally, I feel my strongest point is my ability to see the potential in people and organizations. My ideal job would probably be consulting, or even personal social training. On my list of goals is to make a million bucks. Often you will find me screaming in falsetto for no logical reason.
This is my blog. Many of my articles are written about the principles of attraction, and in that respect, are geared toward guys. However, I love comments and opinions from girls too. Another huge topic will be dating. Many relationships fail early because of so many simple problems that can easily be fixed. You will also find topics such as business, networking and fashion. On top of that expect the occasional ramble that is only partially applicable to the aforementioned categories. Enjoy your readings. Comments, questions and suggestions for topics are ALWAYS appreciated!
r7 // D
Changes
After considering the direction of my blog, I've decided to make some changes around here. For starters, I'm going to no longer focus on just attraction. I will be discussing business, networking, and fashion in addition to dating and attraction. Also, I'm making a push towards mainstream. That means there will be less lingo from attraction communities, or, for that matter, from any business or management circles.
I've re-written a few blogs to align with my new intent, and to make them clearer and easier to understand. I've also removed a few articles that I felt weren't so strong. Up until this post most everything was attraction related, and there will still be a heavy bend towards it, as I find it to be an extremely interesting subject. However, future posts will broaden the horizon of what you might find around here!
Why did I decide this? Many guys discover what has been poorly dubbed 'The Seduction Community' and take a huge interest in learning the skills it takes to meet women. Soon they realize they aren't learning skills that only apply to women. They are learning how to communicate, and that is the single biggest element of success. Most men who become really passionate about learning go on to achieve things in the business world, and in their own lives that they never thought possible. The reason is simple, because they became self-confident, self-respecting, professional communicators. I don't want to simply promote male-female attraction dynamics, but rather the whole picture. I want to provide the full breadth of self evolution.
Also, I want this to be more open to people, and for anyone to be able to stop by and get some inspiration or motivation. I want my blog to be a conduit for future readers to get more involved in learning the principles of attraction. I want people in relationships to have their eyes opened in ways that make them better lovers. I want entrepreneurs to find great resources, and motivation to make their dreams become reality. Overall, I want to give people the power of effective communication. Everyday I wake up I have one goal: To become a more effective communicator, and that is what I want to pass on to you.
r7
I've re-written a few blogs to align with my new intent, and to make them clearer and easier to understand. I've also removed a few articles that I felt weren't so strong. Up until this post most everything was attraction related, and there will still be a heavy bend towards it, as I find it to be an extremely interesting subject. However, future posts will broaden the horizon of what you might find around here!
Why did I decide this? Many guys discover what has been poorly dubbed 'The Seduction Community' and take a huge interest in learning the skills it takes to meet women. Soon they realize they aren't learning skills that only apply to women. They are learning how to communicate, and that is the single biggest element of success. Most men who become really passionate about learning go on to achieve things in the business world, and in their own lives that they never thought possible. The reason is simple, because they became self-confident, self-respecting, professional communicators. I don't want to simply promote male-female attraction dynamics, but rather the whole picture. I want to provide the full breadth of self evolution.
Also, I want this to be more open to people, and for anyone to be able to stop by and get some inspiration or motivation. I want my blog to be a conduit for future readers to get more involved in learning the principles of attraction. I want people in relationships to have their eyes opened in ways that make them better lovers. I want entrepreneurs to find great resources, and motivation to make their dreams become reality. Overall, I want to give people the power of effective communication. Everyday I wake up I have one goal: To become a more effective communicator, and that is what I want to pass on to you.
r7
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
The Difference Between 'Knowing' and Knowing
So lately a lot of the things I've read on dating and attraction have made me warm and fuzzy inside. I read it, and I smile and say to myself, "Alright yea. I know how that works! I do that!" However, once again, I've learned the difference between knowing something academically, and knowing something from experience. While both are great, there is a big gap between them.
When aren't out socializing, managing or networking, or when you are unable to, the only option you have is to read about it. So, it's a Monday night and there isn't really anything going on. Like most people, you decide to read up on some dating material (or management, or business). Perhaps you've read a certain book or e-book a dozen times through, and you can explain every nuance of it. There is only one problem: Until you find yourself in a circumstance where something you've read about really comes to life, you're not going to understand it like you have the potential to.
So does that mean you shouldn't be reading, and instead go practice what you're learning? No way. Read, read, READ! Read everything you get your hands on and make sure you're starting to really understand what the author is trying to tell you. This will EMPOWER you to make the realizations that will skyrocket your success. If you feel stuck, or disheartened, go re-read some things. Commit it to memory! Before you know it you'll find yourself in a situation where you can say, "OOOAAAHH!!! That's what he meant by..."
So, do your homework, and empower yourself to make amazing realizations.
When aren't out socializing, managing or networking, or when you are unable to, the only option you have is to read about it. So, it's a Monday night and there isn't really anything going on. Like most people, you decide to read up on some dating material (or management, or business). Perhaps you've read a certain book or e-book a dozen times through, and you can explain every nuance of it. There is only one problem: Until you find yourself in a circumstance where something you've read about really comes to life, you're not going to understand it like you have the potential to.
So does that mean you shouldn't be reading, and instead go practice what you're learning? No way. Read, read, READ! Read everything you get your hands on and make sure you're starting to really understand what the author is trying to tell you. This will EMPOWER you to make the realizations that will skyrocket your success. If you feel stuck, or disheartened, go re-read some things. Commit it to memory! Before you know it you'll find yourself in a situation where you can say, "OOOAAAHH!!! That's what he meant by..."
So, do your homework, and empower yourself to make amazing realizations.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Don't get down!
I just had a really long conversation with a girl I've been talking to for awhile. She didn't have a lot of confidence, and that sorta bothered me. I figured I'd hang out with her a little more and see how things faired. Anyway, she's been abnormally reserved. I can't figure out what exactly it is, but it seems like maybe she recently got out of a verbally abusive relationship. Point is, she started getting an attitude with me over a really harmless conversation. At first, I was taken aback. Then I remembered something I've read a hundred times, that a lot of guys should learn.
She only has a limited number of chances to prove that she is worth YOUR time.
Well, this poor girl just lost out on a shot with someone that would have turned her world upside down. Not to be all cocky, but I was perfectly willing to restore her self confidence. I almost feel sorry for her, cause the chances of finding another guy like me is slim. That is vain, but I do spend most of my free time studying this sort of thing :)
Remember this. You already have social skills that 95% of the population doesn't have. You obviously had the motivation to come here, and work on a skill you desired. You've shown passion, and dedication. Chances are you've done some damn hard work to get better at it. Next time you get turned down, remember that. Realize that some cute girl just lost one of the best shots she ever had.
Night,
r7
She only has a limited number of chances to prove that she is worth YOUR time.
Well, this poor girl just lost out on a shot with someone that would have turned her world upside down. Not to be all cocky, but I was perfectly willing to restore her self confidence. I almost feel sorry for her, cause the chances of finding another guy like me is slim. That is vain, but I do spend most of my free time studying this sort of thing :)
Remember this. You already have social skills that 95% of the population doesn't have. You obviously had the motivation to come here, and work on a skill you desired. You've shown passion, and dedication. Chances are you've done some damn hard work to get better at it. Next time you get turned down, remember that. Realize that some cute girl just lost one of the best shots she ever had.
Night,
r7
Wednesday, February 7, 2007
Proper Body Language
Have you ever observed someone who is obviously uncomfortable in their surroundings? Think back to a time when you saw someone who was nervous and fidgety. How could you tell? What clues made them appear to be so nervous? Did they come off as a high value person?
A month back I had an eye doctor appointment for new contacts. While I was in the waiting area I observed a tall, slightly heavy teenager who IMMEDIATELY came across as being nervous and quite uncomfortable. He fidgeted with his pockets, stared at the floor, and never made eye contact with anyone who spoke with him. His voice was so soft that from 10 feet away I could barely understand him. He was a bit slouched, and was constantly occupied with some sort of nervous habit. Most of which included him playing with the jean rivets on the edge of his pockets.
I haven't told you what he was wearing, or really what he looked like at all. But I would bet that every single person who reads this has a picture of how he is dressed, and what he looks like, in their head. It is just the same when you have poor body language. If you are talking to someone and exhibiting some of the same things I just mentioned, they will form a picture in their head of who you are. And nine times out of ten the picture they form is an insecure, scared little child. This is going to KILL any value a girl, interviewer or random person may have for you, and may make them just as uncomfortable if you stick around. In fact, it is probably the case that if you are approaching someone,you will get shot down before you even speak.
So what should you be doing? First off, stand up straight. Smile! Put your shoulders back, puff out your chest a little and take a deep breath. Forget about your hands, put them down at your side. If you must do something with them, go get a drink to hold. (If you are meeting people hold it in your left hand so you can shake hands with your right!) RELAX! Go out of your way to make sure that all of your movements are precise and exact. Take your time. When standing or sitting, adopt an open posture. You will feel vulnerable, but this is alright! This is a sign of confidence. Keep your head up and maintain eye contact! Speak up!I could go on and on, but I'll just leave you with a quick checklist to remember before you approach someone, or while in a conversation:
A month back I had an eye doctor appointment for new contacts. While I was in the waiting area I observed a tall, slightly heavy teenager who IMMEDIATELY came across as being nervous and quite uncomfortable. He fidgeted with his pockets, stared at the floor, and never made eye contact with anyone who spoke with him. His voice was so soft that from 10 feet away I could barely understand him. He was a bit slouched, and was constantly occupied with some sort of nervous habit. Most of which included him playing with the jean rivets on the edge of his pockets.
I haven't told you what he was wearing, or really what he looked like at all. But I would bet that every single person who reads this has a picture of how he is dressed, and what he looks like, in their head. It is just the same when you have poor body language. If you are talking to someone and exhibiting some of the same things I just mentioned, they will form a picture in their head of who you are. And nine times out of ten the picture they form is an insecure, scared little child. This is going to KILL any value a girl, interviewer or random person may have for you, and may make them just as uncomfortable if you stick around. In fact, it is probably the case that if you are approaching someone,you will get shot down before you even speak.
So what should you be doing? First off, stand up straight. Smile! Put your shoulders back, puff out your chest a little and take a deep breath. Forget about your hands, put them down at your side. If you must do something with them, go get a drink to hold. (If you are meeting people hold it in your left hand so you can shake hands with your right!) RELAX! Go out of your way to make sure that all of your movements are precise and exact. Take your time. When standing or sitting, adopt an open posture. You will feel vulnerable, but this is alright! This is a sign of confidence. Keep your head up and maintain eye contact! Speak up!I could go on and on, but I'll just leave you with a quick checklist to remember before you approach someone, or while in a conversation:
- Stand Up Straight
- Shoulders Back
- Chest Out
- Smile
- Eye Contact
- No Pockets!
- Move with intention, be exacting
- Take your time
- Open posture
- Speak Loud and Clear
Sunday, February 4, 2007
Inital Attraction - First Impressions
Initial Attraction is what starts the ball rolling. It is your first impression. This is what happens in the first few seconds that you meet ANYONE, but lets talk about meeting girls. It is in this short amount of time that you lay out the foundation from which everything will or won't happen!
Your Inner Self - Self confidence and self respect are the cornerstones of your social skills. However, if you come up short in either department, do not stress. Acting like a confident person will teach you confidence. The same applies for self respect. If you don't have a good view of yourself then you will have poor body language, and a bad vibe. Your dress, smile and eye contact may even reflect this. Before you do anything else, work on this! Emulate people around you who seem to be confident, and self-respecting. Give yourself some credit and stop beating yourself up. There are tons of books and articles out there that can help teach you to appreciate yourself more.
Your Outer Self - Your outer appearance is DIRECTLY based off two things. First is your inner view of yourself. People with confidence will walk, talk and act differently then someone who lacks it. Second is your social awareness. What I mean by social awareness is how 'in tune' you are with the world around you. Fashion is a great example of this. People look at someone who is well dressed in a different light as compared to someone who is wearing an over-sized t-shirt. There are many things that can affect this, but they all primarily stem from those two factors. Here's a quick list.
- Dress / Style
- Body Language
- Confidence
- Humor
- Smile!
- Vibe
- Eye Contact
- Possessions (Car, House, Cell Phone, Watch, Shoes etc...)
By no means do you need to have and expensive car, a 3000 dollar suit, or even good looks for you to attract someone. This is meant to be a quick list of things that will affect your appearance and first impressions. Still, there are MANY more. Take some time to consider a few. What can you improve? What can I HELP you improve?
*A note about looks: This is not nearly as important for us guys. Girls consider many other things before looks when considering a guy, such as humor. However, there is no excuse for not cleaning yourself up, getting a haircut and looking sharp. Read my blog on fashion farther down!
Her Internal Self - When you approach a girl she is comparing your values to her values. It is human nature to be attracted to people who are of high value, and that make that value relevant to you. That means if you have qualities she wants in her life, that is what creates attraction. What I listed above are general things that everyone agrees as attractive. If you have these qualities in good amounts you are increasing your chances of attraction. As an example, many women will quickly take notice of someone who is a leader. But think about how even more attractive a well dressed, articulate, humorous leader is. In addition to these general qualities, there are also specific ones you can also adopt. Those are less important, as they change from girl to girl. For example, some girls just go nuts for rock stars, some don't.
Her Outer Self - Many times this is what will throw guys off. Especially if you are approaching a gorgeous girl who seems to have it all together. You will, most likely, put her up on a level where her value is greater than yours. If you approach her with this mindset, be prepared to get shot down. You will be looking and acting desperate, and maybe even stuttering. You shouldn't need a woman for validation. You are yourself, and you are approaching her to find out what is attractive about her. Listen to me, and dozens of other guys, when we say: beauty is common! The most attractive girl you've ever seen could also be the most annoying girl you've ever met. There is no reason to get nervous about talking to her, after all, aren't YOU here to give HER the chance to meet you? Approach her, and find out if she is as much fun as she is pretty.
After some practice talking with girls you will notice that you will feel much more confident and valuable. This isn't the whole story though, just a really basic explanation. I hope that sheds some light on things!
Your Inner Self - Self confidence and self respect are the cornerstones of your social skills. However, if you come up short in either department, do not stress. Acting like a confident person will teach you confidence. The same applies for self respect. If you don't have a good view of yourself then you will have poor body language, and a bad vibe. Your dress, smile and eye contact may even reflect this. Before you do anything else, work on this! Emulate people around you who seem to be confident, and self-respecting. Give yourself some credit and stop beating yourself up. There are tons of books and articles out there that can help teach you to appreciate yourself more.
Your Outer Self - Your outer appearance is DIRECTLY based off two things. First is your inner view of yourself. People with confidence will walk, talk and act differently then someone who lacks it. Second is your social awareness. What I mean by social awareness is how 'in tune' you are with the world around you. Fashion is a great example of this. People look at someone who is well dressed in a different light as compared to someone who is wearing an over-sized t-shirt. There are many things that can affect this, but they all primarily stem from those two factors. Here's a quick list.
- Dress / Style
- Body Language
- Confidence
- Humor
- Smile!
- Vibe
- Eye Contact
- Possessions (Car, House, Cell Phone, Watch, Shoes etc...)
By no means do you need to have and expensive car, a 3000 dollar suit, or even good looks for you to attract someone. This is meant to be a quick list of things that will affect your appearance and first impressions. Still, there are MANY more. Take some time to consider a few. What can you improve? What can I HELP you improve?
*A note about looks: This is not nearly as important for us guys. Girls consider many other things before looks when considering a guy, such as humor. However, there is no excuse for not cleaning yourself up, getting a haircut and looking sharp. Read my blog on fashion farther down!
Her Internal Self - When you approach a girl she is comparing your values to her values. It is human nature to be attracted to people who are of high value, and that make that value relevant to you. That means if you have qualities she wants in her life, that is what creates attraction. What I listed above are general things that everyone agrees as attractive. If you have these qualities in good amounts you are increasing your chances of attraction. As an example, many women will quickly take notice of someone who is a leader. But think about how even more attractive a well dressed, articulate, humorous leader is. In addition to these general qualities, there are also specific ones you can also adopt. Those are less important, as they change from girl to girl. For example, some girls just go nuts for rock stars, some don't.
Her Outer Self - Many times this is what will throw guys off. Especially if you are approaching a gorgeous girl who seems to have it all together. You will, most likely, put her up on a level where her value is greater than yours. If you approach her with this mindset, be prepared to get shot down. You will be looking and acting desperate, and maybe even stuttering. You shouldn't need a woman for validation. You are yourself, and you are approaching her to find out what is attractive about her. Listen to me, and dozens of other guys, when we say: beauty is common! The most attractive girl you've ever seen could also be the most annoying girl you've ever met. There is no reason to get nervous about talking to her, after all, aren't YOU here to give HER the chance to meet you? Approach her, and find out if she is as much fun as she is pretty.
After some practice talking with girls you will notice that you will feel much more confident and valuable. This isn't the whole story though, just a really basic explanation. I hope that sheds some light on things!
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